Warning Signs:
You Like Your Bird
More Than Your Kids

  1. Your bird can throw food all over the floor. When your kids do, they don't get dessert.

  2. Your bird can scream and make noise all day long. If your kids do, they're sent to their rooms.

  3. Your bird can put holes in the curtains, and clothing. If your kids do, they're grounded.

  4. Your bird can make a mess anyplace it wants to. When your kids do, they're sent to bed an hour early.

  5. Your bird can tear up your favorite magazine. If your kids do, they have to pay for it from their allowance.

  6. Your bird can walk all over the sofa and the kitchen table. When your kids do, they can't watch TV for a week.

  7. You keep treats in your pocket for the bird. If your kids keep treats in their pockets you show them how to run the washer.

  8. When your bird wants you to play with it, you do. When your kids want you to play with them you say "later."

  9. When your bird wants a snack, you give it. When your kids want one you say "Not until after dinner."

  10. If your bird won't eat vegetables, you try different recipes. When your kids won't, you make them sit at the table until they finish.

  11. You will spend an hour making bird bread, but you won't spend 5 minutes making jello.

  12. When you get a roll of film developed, there are more pictures of the bird than of your kids.

  13. Your Christmas cards have a picture of your bird instead of the kids.

  14. You talk so much about your bird, that your friends at work don't even know you have any kids.

  15. Instead of attending the PTA meeting, you spend the evening teaching your bird to talk.

  16. You take courses and learn html to put up a web site about birds. When your kids are failing Math, you just hire a tutor.

Eleonore McCaffrey
The Mom


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